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The Resolution Making Process
Making choices isn't straightforward and the worst thing is we are by no means taught tips on how to make decisions. Nobody taught us this life skill as we are growing up. Nobody in school or at residence taught us. We only learn by observation. And most of the time we observe people not knowing learn how to make a decision!
And one of the ineffective processes is in the making of a pros and cons list! And this is without doubt one of the hottest ways in which folks base their choices on.
So the most common query I get from my students and purchasers is this: Do I make my determination based mostly on logic or primarily based on what my coronary heart tells me? Ah, this is where we journey ourselves up BIG TIME. We frequently see logic and our feelings as two separate entities, because we now have not experienced them enough to be one unit. And we have not understood ourselves sufficient to know that they are interconnected.
Now let's play satan's advocate here: what is logic? The definition of logic is right reasoning. But right reasoning just isn't the last word truth. Our reasoning is predicated on info we have now in the intervening time, and so logic expands or contracts relying on available data/information. This also means that logic can change or evolve as we evolve. When we talk about logic, we appear to have a fixed idea that logic does not change. However when we talk about emotions/emotions, we have no qualms about accepting that yes, our emotions/emotions do change depending on situations/circumstances.
If each logic and our feelings do evolve/rework, this signifies that our decision-making process is definitely much simpler than we think. Why? We have a higher tolerance for things to alter, and that even if we make a decision now based mostly on what we know, that decision has room to evolve as well because we're open to the concept that we will have more information over time.
Ultimately, this implies that we are able to only make selections based on the present moment. I know this sounds kinda zen. But this is the only way we can move. We can not live our lives stuck in the past based on previous data, neither can we wait in anticipation of what is to return, and be in paralysis, not knowing learn how to make the decision. So we can only make decisions based mostly on the current moment. Does this make sense to you?
The problem with us humans is that we are so filled with fears that confront us in our aware and unconscious that it is nearly not possible for most people to make selections primarily based on the present moment. Most people can not live like this. They want ensures in life, they need ensures in success, they fear to be in pain, to be hurt. They usually just wish to management everything occurring in their lives, which we know's impossible.
Attempting to regulate everything and wanting guarantees shouldn't be residing, and it comes from a particularly egocentric perspective that you simply really think you have any form of management whatsoever, which stems from a narcissistic egomaniac mind! Can you imagine that the majority of humanity operating this way?
Ultimately, what occurs is that individuals start making choices based on their fears. "By no means trust your fears, they do not know your strengths" this is such an amazing quote! Our fears are quick-sighted and usually don't have any depth in perspective, and making our decisions based mostly on fears limits us, and prevents us from seeing more and additional, and it actually keeps us in the loop of our comfort zone. We really feel a temporary sense of freedom, thinking we have made the decision that serves us, however whatever choices we've made that stems from concern will come back to haunt us, it is only a matter of time.
As zen as it might sound, the simplest resolution-making process is still one that is based on the present moment, that feeds into our empowered state, and gives us a sense of freedom to understand that: hey! I am always free to alter my perspective about things, individuals, situations and that I am allowed to evolve.
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